The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “ Abba, Father.  Romans 8:15

You can learn a great deal about a person by asking this question: What comes to your mind when you think about God? Our view of God quietly shapes everything else. Many unbelievers imagine a God who loves without any judgment, or a God who judges without any tenderness. The first leaves them comfortable in their sin; the second keeps Him at a fearful distance.

But that question is just as important for the children of God. We may know the Scriptures and sincerely affirm them, yet our perception of God can still be bent by life experience, disappointment, fear, or pain.

Here is a second question, and perhaps an even more revealing one: What do I believe God thinks about me? I used to believe that God was disappointed in me, and that belief became a stronghold.

Think of the prodigal son. His father stands on the porch, scanning the horizon, waiting. And the moment he sees his son, he gathers up his robe and runs—not to lecture, but to embrace.

If you were the son coming home, and your earthly father stood on that porch, how would you be received?

And if you were the one standing on the porch, waiting for your child, what would fill your heart? Would the moment be marked by love, forgiveness, and joy?

Jesus tore the veil and gave us radical access to His Father, whom we now call Abba. That kind of nearness is meant to heal us, but only if we are willing to name what still keeps us back. I am pressing in to examine those obstacles in my own heart, and this final scripture brings me to tears.

As for you, I’ll come with healing, curing the incurable, because they all gave up on you.  Jeremiah 30:17

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.  Romans 8:12

The giving of a gift can communicate different things. It might say, ‘I love you.’ Oh, but it can just as easily convey, “Now, you owe me!’ It comes with expectations for something you should give in return. I’m sure you’ve received both kinds. I have.

It’s tricky, isn’t it? I’ve had people tell me that they receive far more gifts with strings attached than they do gifts that are freely given. Feeling indebted to people we can’t fully trust is a heavy burden. How some people expect to be repaid can be right out expensive. Perhaps you’ve stayed in a toxic relationship just because of guilt!

Live this way long enough and distrust rules our heart. Because if I’ve been accustomed to getting gifts with strings attached, I won’t be able to accept free gifts without thinking I surely owe something.

Can being a debtor be a good thing?  Yes, as long as it’s with Jesus. He is my Savior, He gives without strings, and then invites me to give back my life, not out of guilt but out of gratitude. What cures sterile Christian service that feels obligatory? What cures resentment over feeling over tired and over committed? Falling in love with the Giver. He is incapable of manipulating and using me to get His needs met. Once I understand that, I am free to listen closely and clear a good part of my calendar!

I am safe to love You with my life, Jesus. Amen

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6

This verse is clearly not vague. It asks what direction our thoughts naturally lean, what atmosphere our soul is breathing, and where we feel most at home. These questions are meant to help us slow down, come quietly before God, and let His Spirit search us with honesty and tenderness.

Reflective Study Questions

1. Where are you experiencing the difference between life in the Spirit and the irresistible pull of the flesh?
2. What once felt natural to you but now feels foreign because Jesus simply changed your appetites?
3. When you sin, do you move quickly toward God, or away, and what does that pattern reveal?

Questions For Deeper Formation

1. In what ways might you be mistaking distraction, self-indulgence, or spiritual fatigue for something harmless, when in fact it may be weakening your responsiveness to God?
2. What is the difference between stumbling into sin and becoming inwardly at home in it?
3. Is there any area where I have grown too comfortable with a divided heart—externally faithful, yet inwardly drifting?

Questions for Leaders and Shepherds

1. How can I help women discern the difference between a tender conscience that struggles and a soul that is growing increasingly at ease with the flesh?
2. In my leadership, how do I speak about sin in a way that is sobering without becoming harsh, and gracious without becoming vague?
3. What signs have I seen in women who are spiritually wandering but not spiritually dead, and how can I shepherd them with both truth and hope?

Closing prayer

Holy Spirit, show me where I’m drifting and turn my face again toward You. Amen

For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  Romans 8:6

To set my mind on the flesh is to be habitually consumed with things that offend God.  How can I focus all my attention, as a consistent way of life, on the very things enemies of God think about?  Doesn’t that make me God’s enemy?  I believe Paul is saying yes. ‘She who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.’  I Timothy 5:6  She is the living dead. A life set on the flesh is a life moving toward death. The body breathes, but the soul is estranged.

The unbeliever lives for himself.  He is consumed with getting his needs met on his own terms.  He has no thought of God except for the occasional ache in his soul that something is wrong.

The believer has been born again into a completely new reality.  God has become his father.  What once felt natural now feels foreign. What once charmed now disappoints. The mind and heart have been turned in a new direction. There is a new hunger, a new grief over sin, a new peace in knowing that all is finally well between his soul and God. He is not perfect, but he is no longer at home in sin.

If I wound my earthly father, I do not stop thinking about him. If the relationship matters, the rupture matters. In the same way, a true child of God cannot live grieving the heart of the Father without feeling the tear of it somewhere deep inside. He may wander. He may dull himself for a season. But if the Spirit lives in him, he will not be able to sin with settled peace. Something in him will ache for home.

Do not let me grow comfortable in anything that grieves Your heart. Amen

For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.  Romans 8:2

Why do we speak to ourselves this way? If our self-talk became audible, it would shock the people around us. They would hear us call ourselves idiots, hopeless losers, liars, thieves, immoral men and women, disappointments to those who love us, people with no real future. They would hear us say our sins are beyond forgiveness. This kind of inward speech is a slow death to joy. It keeps our faces turned downward. We cannot lift our heads enough to look up.

This self-hatred did not begin with us. Satan accused us first before our Father in heaven. But Jesus silenced him, declaring that we are forgiven and made righteous in Him. Failing there, the accuser came to us with the same charges, and too often we did not answer him with the same truth. His labels clung to us, and our joy drained away.

But there is a cure for regret. There is a cure for crippling guilt. There is a cure for self-loathing. It is this: my sins no longer belong to me. They were laid on Jesus two thousand years ago. Is He bowed down under their weight today? Heaven forbid. He bore them fully, paid for them dearly, and declared the work finished. He is in heaven now, not crushed, but reigning—and rejoicing that I am free. Why, then, should I live bowed down as though the cross accomplished nothing? The heaviness is real, but its authority is a lie.

For every one today who suffers for nothing, remind them through Your Spirit that we are forgiven. We are free. We are loved. And we are dressed in Your perfection. Amen

Romans 8:1 is not a narrow doorway into freedom; it is an open gateway. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” But, we don’t walk into freedom as easily as we quote the verse. We carry old accusations and well-worn habits of self-sentencing.

Romans 8, as a chapter, is so incredibly rich that I want to linger on each verse for several days.  If you missed the last two devotionals on condemnation, you can find them here. 

Now on day three, these questions are meant to help us linger here a day long—not merely to admire the doctrine of no condemnation, but to ask whether it has truly reached the hidden places of our soul where accusation still speaks.  Good questions that make us dig deep end up changing us.  Know that I am reflecting on these along with you today.

Reflective Study Questions

1. In your lived experience, what is the practical difference between conviction and condemnation? Where have you seen the enemy counterfeit one with the other?
2. Where are you still relating to God as though your standing before Him fluctuates with your recent performance?
3. In what ways have you unconsciously built a spirituality that still includes self-punishment?
4. Where do you most often “send yourself back to death row” after Christ has already opened the cell?
5. Which is harder for you to believe at the deepest level: that Christ has fully canceled your guilt, or that He still delights in you after your failure?

Questions for Deeper Formation

1. What accusation against you has lasted so long that it now sounds like your own inner voice?
2. What part of your story still feels “less redeemable” than the rest, and what does that reveal about your actual theology of grace?
3. Where are you asking Christ to forgive you again for what He has already fully justified?

Questions for Leaders and Shepherds

1. How can you tell when the women you lead are living under conviction that leads to repentance, versus condemnation that leads to hiding?
2. In your ministry language, do you make it easier or harder for wounded women to believe that grace is stronger than their failure?
3. Where might your own unresolved shame be shaping the tone of your counsel, teaching, or expectations of others?