Listening To Inner Regrets

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For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.  Romans 8:2

Why do we speak to ourselves this way? If our self-talk became audible, it would shock the people around us. They would hear us call ourselves idiots, hopeless losers, liars, thieves, immoral men and women, disappointments to those who love us, people with no real future. They would hear us say our sins are beyond forgiveness. This kind of inward speech is a slow death to joy. It keeps our faces turned downward. We cannot lift our heads enough to look up.

This self-hatred did not begin with us. Satan accused us first before our Father in heaven. But Jesus silenced him, declaring that we are forgiven and made righteous in Him. Failing there, the accuser came to us with the same charges, and too often we did not answer him with the same truth. His labels clung to us, and our joy drained away.

But there is a cure for regret. There is a cure for crippling guilt. There is a cure for self-loathing. It is this: my sins no longer belong to me. They were laid on Jesus two thousand years ago. Is He bowed down under their weight today? Heaven forbid. He bore them fully, paid for them dearly, and declared the work finished. He is in heaven now, not crushed, but reigning—and rejoicing that I am free. Why, then, should I live bowed down as though the cross accomplished nothing? The heaviness is real, but its authority is a lie.

For every one today who suffers for nothing, remind them through Your Spirit that we are forgiven. We are free. We are loved. And we are dressed in Your perfection. Amen

Romans 8:1 – For Further Reflection

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Romans 8:1 is not a narrow doorway into freedom; it is an open gateway. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” But, we don’t walk into freedom as easily as we quote the verse. We carry old accusations and well-worn habits of self-sentencing.

Romans 8, as a chapter, is so incredibly rich that I want to linger on each verse for several days.  If you missed the last two devotionals on condemnation, you can find them here. 

Now on day three, these questions are meant to help us linger here a day long—not merely to admire the doctrine of no condemnation, but to ask whether it has truly reached the hidden places of our soul where accusation still speaks.  Good questions that make us dig deep end up changing us.  Know that I am reflecting on these along with you today.

Reflective Study Questions

  1. In your lived experience, what is the practical difference between conviction and condemnation? Where have you seen the enemy counterfeit one with the other?
  2. Where are you still relating to God as though your standing before Him fluctuates with your recent performance?
  3. In what ways have you unconsciously built a spirituality that still includes self-punishment?
  4. Where do you most often “send yourself back to death row” after Christ has already opened the cell?
  5. Which is harder for you to believe at the deepest level: that Christ has fully canceled your guilt, or that He still delights in you after your failure?

Questions for Deeper Formation

  1. What accusation against you has lasted so long that it now sounds like your own inner voice?
  2. What part of your story still feels “less redeemable” than the rest, and what does that reveal about your actual theology of grace?
  3. Where are you asking Christ to forgive you again for what He has already fully justified?

Questions for Leaders and Shepherds

  1. How can you tell when the women you lead are living under conviction that leads to repentance, versus condemnation that leads to hiding?
  2. In your ministry language, do you make it easier or harder for wounded women to believe that grace is stronger than their failure?
  3. Where might your own unresolved shame be shaping the tone of your counsel, teaching, or expectations of others?

When I Fear I’m Still Condemned

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There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

If I’m no longer condemned, then why do I sometimes feel like I am? Because Satan entices, then he prosecutes. He reports my sin to the Father and demands that the sentence of the Law be carried out against me. Oh, how he dreams of justice without mercy!

But when he arrives in heaven to accuse me, He meets Jesus, clothed in righteousness, standing in the presence of His Father. “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.” Hebrews 4:14

And my Savior is ready with my defense. He does not deny that I have sinned. He answers with something greater. He lifts His wounded hands and says, “She’s forgiven. She’s justified. She is Mine.”  This is the moment when the accuser loses his footing.

Satan is a sore loser. Having lost his legal case in heaven against me, he’ll then come to me directly to voice the same accusations.  If I forget my defense and my Defender, I am vulnerable to condemnation. Satan is cunning. He knows how to mimic the voice of my conscience. But the blood has spoken, once and for all, at the cross.  So what is my strategy when the accuser comes?  I do not answer Satan with my feelings, because my feelings fail me. I answer him with this ~  I have been bought, cleansed, pardoned, and declared righteous before God.  Condemnation is relegated to my history.

No More Self-Condemnation

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There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8:1

An old German commentator, Spener, once said that if the Bible were a ring and Romans its precious stone, then chapter 8 would be “the sparkling point of the jewel.” I believe it. It is the gospel gathered into one blazing chapter.

At times I’ve watched documentaries about prison life. Even from a distance, you can feel the weight of it as the bars close—the loss of freedom, the constant danger, the awful realization that your life is no longer your own. But the most unforgettable scenes are the pardons. The gates open. A prisoner steps out stunned, hardly able to believe it. Then comes the embrace, the tears, the disbelief that a life once thought lost has been given back.

That is the atmosphere of Romans 8. Except, I was the condemned one. I sat on death row with my guilt piled high and no argument strong enough to save me. Then the door opened. And not because I had found a defense, but because Someone else stepped forward and paid my ransom. Not a stranger. Not a neutral party. But the very One I had resisted, ignored, and sinned against. Jesus became my Savior.

That is the scandal of grace. There came a day when I understood that because of Jesus, I no longer had to live as though I were still in prison. I could entrust myself to His mercy. I could walk out of the cell and into the wide country of His love. And with time I would see that His work did more than cancel my sentence. It broke the power of my bondage. My worst sins do not get the final word over me. My failures do not have the authority to drag me back behind bars. And even when I grieve Him, I cannot be sent back to death row. The sentence was carried out ~ in Christ.

Lord Jesus, keep the sound of those prison doors opening fresh in my soul. Do not let me grow casual with mercy or forget the darkness from which You brought me. Teach me to walk in the clean air of grace, to lift my face like one set free, and to live each day astonished that the arms waiting outside the gate were Yours. Amen.

Careful Before Making a Promise

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I will keep your statutes; do not utterly forsake me!  Psalm 119:8

Have you ever given a ‘yes’ to something while knowing, even as the words left your mouth, that you were stepping in over your head?

That is how this verse feels to me. David makes a bold promise: “I will keep Your statutes.” I can almost hear him take in his breath before he says it. It is the language of love, but also the language of holy inadequacy. Who can truly keep God’s statutes? Who is sufficient for this tall order? And yet David loves Him enough to offer his obedience, even knowing how fragile the human heart can be. So almost in the same breath, he adds, “Do not utterly forsake me.” He knows his need. He knows that sincere intention is not the same as sustaining power. Without the nearness of God, he will not stand.

And isn’t that the posture of every true child of God?

Everything God asks of us drives us beyond ourselves. His ways are too high for the natural mind. His commandments are not sized to human strength. His callings are God-sized. Even the greatest commandment, ‘to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind’, reveals how unable we are apart from grace. We mean it when we say we love Him, and yet our loves are so easily seduced. The glitter of Babylon still catches our eye. Lesser things still charm us. Our first Love is betrayed in a hundred subtle ways.

So this verse becomes not only David’s confession, but mine. I come again today and say, with as much sincerity as I can gather, I will keep Your statutes, Lord. But I do not say it with self-confidence. I say it with dependence. Stay close to me. Hold me up. Teach me. Correct me. Strengthen what is weak in me. Because if You leave me to myself, I will wander.

Today is a new day, and once again, I will take a deep breath. I will walk in Your ways, but only because Your Holy Spirit will walk with me. Do not leave me in my frailty. Keep me near enough to obey.  Amen

Don’t Discount The Weakling!

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Time is too short for me to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah,  David, Samuel, and the prophets, who by faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the raging of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, gained strength after being weak, became mighty in battle, and put foreign armies to flight.  Hebrews 11:32-3

It’s easy to assess a weak person as forever weak. They are often pigeonholed from their youth. When considering whom to choose for a position where strength is critical, the weak are usually not considered.   I must remember that the weak are made strong by God.  The degree of their weakness is immaterial.  If they trust God, rise up to obey His mandate, then watch out!

The children of Israel were always outnumbered and yet, with God, their weaknesses were paired with God’s unparalleled strength. Gideon defeated the Midianites with fragile pitchers, pieces of earthen pottery.  Samson slayed 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey.  Historically, ill equipped saints were given beyond the natural to enable them to overcome incredible odds in the supernatural. Think of the widow and her son who were on the edge of starvation.  They had a handful of flour and a little oil left to make their last meal. God’s hand touched their meager amount of supplies and there what was little became plentiful.

God’s tactical strategies do not include the assessment of a person’s strengths.  He takes a person who loves Him, trusts Him, and though he may be weak and without resources, God completes what is lacking to make them a supernatural kingdom force.

What battle are you fighting today?  I’m in one myself. The advantage, in the natural realm, is not mine.  I can see that.  It may not be yours either.  Put the equation on paper and a disastrous outcome is sure.  If you live with someone who prizes intellect, a scientific mind who thrives on logic and solid evidence, predictions of gloom will fill your home.  Faith must be fought for.  And fight, we must.  The battle can be against the arguments of faithless children of God. This should not be but it is.

God is for you.  Not against you.  Stand up and expect a miracle.  Put it all on the line.  Offer Him what you have even if it’s far from enough.  I love J.D. Greer’s quote.  Our strength is more of a liability than an asset.  When God wants to use us, He often begins by weakening us.

The most important thing I have in my hands is helpless dependence on You.  Amen

Trusted With The Message

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For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit.  I Thess. 2:3

THE MESSAGE says it well.  “God tested us thoroughly to make sure we were qualified to be trusted with this Message. Be assured that when we speak to you, we’re not after crowd approval—only God’s approval. Since we’ve been put through that battery of tests, you’re guaranteed that both we and the Message are free of error, mixed motives, or hidden agendas.”

It takes a while for ‘self’ to be conquered.  When I was young, God’s will was cobwebbed with what I wanted for myself.  I pursued my dreams with a vengeance, believing that God was behind them, but eventually I began to hit one brick wall after another.  I worked double-time to demolish the mountain of bricks.  God’s will was in there somewhere, but I couldn’t separate the difference between His plan and mine. I grew depressed and became disillusioned with God; eventually, disliking my ministry.  Post-traumatic stress visited me before nearly every event.

Crashing and burning was the best thing that could have happened to me in the 90’s.  I finally died to self, and then an amazing thing happened.  I was surrounded by deafening silence.  In the stillness, I heard God’s voice.  With frenetic activity halted and my own inner voice silenced, I was able to understand how I had been driven by mixed motives and hidden agendas.  It took three years.

Because of God’s mercy, I was raised up out of the same ashes that God had burned in the fires of testing.  He was a recycling expert, using my foolishness and sin to invent something new.  God crafted a new language on my tongue; a message birthed out of the healing of my deepest shame.

People could tell and began to relax under its influence; their spirits bearing witness with God’s Spirit that what they were hearing was void of pretense.  The spiritually intuitive hearers always know.

Lord, this ministry is continually birthed in our relationship with each other.  I get it!  Amen

You’re Not Alone

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Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  Matthew 6:13

We are engaged in a battle with the enemy of our souls.  Temptations abound.  Condemning thoughts threaten our peace.  Doubts erode our confidence in Abba.  Fear cripples our faith.  Anger undermines our belief in God’s justice.

This is a global war, not a solitary one.  Forgetting that, I can fail to disclose my struggles to my spiritual sisters. I can begin to think that something is wrong with me if I battle temptation, fear, anger, and doubt.  I can easily view myself as someone who disappoints God.  I can assume others are more advanced spiritually.  I can be inclined to feel a sense of shame over the things that plague me.

This perception is untrue.  We are all in the same predicament.  Spiritual power to resist our enemy and achieve victory is collectively ours if we bare our burdens to one another with discretion.  We’re family.  The same royal blood courses through our spiritual veins.  War has been declared on us simply because of Whom we belong to.  We need to be vulnerable with each other.  We can stand firm as long as we stand together.

You will come against arrows of opposition today.  They may be numerous, causing you to believe that the power behind them is formidable.  But you do not fight alone.  I link my arm with yours.  We sing a song of deliverance.  The song is contagious, for as our voices are heard, more daughters begin to learn this song of hope.  There is strength in numbers.  The battle is transformed from a senseless massacre to an overwhelming victory.

Together with my sisters, Lord, we create a daunting line of defense.  Amen

When Pretenses Are Revealed

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And Jacob saw that Laban did not regard him with favor as before. Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Return to the land of your fathers and to your kindred, and I will be with you.” Genesis 31:3

Laban set up Jacob to fail. He stole some of his spotted and striped animals and hid them with his own son’s flocks in order to mate them. He would then accuse Jacob of stealing. When God prospered Jacob anyway, all pretenses of love and friendship Laban had exhibited, dissolved. No longer able to hide his true feelings, he accused Jacob and things became adversarial.

At that point, God did not instruct Jacob on how to repair the relationship. He was told to leave and return to the land of his father. He was released with God’s blessing.

Time in Laban’s household was a spiritual school. Jacob’s past sins were paid for and he bore up well under discipline. He gave his conniving father-in-law every opportunity to prosper and to embrace Yahweh. In the end, motives that Laban had hidden rose to the surface. What had stayed veiled for over a decade was exposed when issues of greed, Laban’s stronghold, pushed him to the limit. It was clear that Laban was not going to change so God released Jacob to leave.

There are relationships that are tolerable for a while, sometimes a long while. Others perceive harmony but you know that beneath the surface, you are dealing with an adversary, not a friend.   You may be in ministry with this person, or work for him. God has not released you to leave and you are straining under the pretense. Jacob’s story is a firsthand illustration that if we do what is right and bear up well under the pressure of unfairness, there will be a graduation day. Some issue will cause everything to blow up. What is hidden now will become clear for all to see and God will use their sin to release us to our next appointment.

For now, it can seem like you’re trapped. There is no such thing as ‘trapped’ in God’s purposes. Things might be uncomfortable, even excruciating. Your pride may be assaulted daily. Your coping ability might be pushed to the limits. Cling to God and allow this to strengthen your spiritual muscles of faith. One grand morning, God may just say, “Well done! Move on!”

I lived in oppression. It seemed endless. You taught me so much about my adversary and about myself. I remember the party our family threw when you said, “Move!” Oh Lord, You are a Deliverer! Amen

Holy Curiosity

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Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. Genesis 34:1

Has curiosity ever gotten you in trouble? Meet Dinah.

Her life was sheltered. She only knew the ways of her extended family. She heard stories of other tribes but never saw them up close. With the people of Shechem as her new neighbors, she was interested to know more about them.  She left the protection of her family to satisfy her curiosity. She was raped and her innocence was stolen.

There are many things God tells his children to stay away from like mystical spirituality and occult practices.  How many have tasted of hell’s delights and paid a high price in the after effects! A door was opened that gave Satan access to their lives. Most don’t know how to close it, or even that it can be closed.  They live a lifetime of torment that comes from spiritual compromise.

What am I to do with my God-given curiosity? What can I do for my thirst for what is hidden? Is it wrong to want to know the secrets of the kingdom?  No. I am the child of a Father who loves to teach me His ways. “There is a God in heaven who is the revealer of mysteries.” Daniel 2:28   My thirst for all that makes me feel intellectually and emotionally stimulated is found in God. If I ask Him to teach me, He takes me to stunning places of wisdom and understanding

Satan has led people to believe that spending time with God is boring, the reading of scripture is monotonous, and prayer is the stodgiest thing of all. The problem is compounded by the fact that many of our spiritual teachers haven’t found real life in God either and keep perpetrating the lie. They are merely reporters on their traditions.  Oh, to meet another believer whose heart bubbles over with what God is teaching them.

Dinah roamed outside safe boundaries and was never the same again. Today, from heaven, she would assure us that the best things of life are found at home in the courts of our King.

I pray for everyone reading this who doesn’t know You as the revealer of secrets. Open the eyes of their spirit to Your Word. Open the ears of their heart to Your voice. Amen

Question: Are you suffering today because you opened a door to what God has forbidden? Are you tormented because of it? Repent of that act and ask God to cleanse you of all effects. With sin confessed, Satan no longer has legal right to you. Ask God to close the gate and seal it by the power of His Spirit.